Category: Emotional & Mental Wellbeing

Release it With Love

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“Release it/them with love and allow YOURSELF to be pulled forward and lifted higher”~ Nadirah A. Shakir ~

 

The new year is approaching rather quickly. As we ready ourselves for it’s arrival one of the most important questions that we should ask ourselves is, what do we want to release. For some of us, that what might change into who. That’s fine. The who and the what often carry the same energetic vibration, making it easier to distinguish what consciously needs to be released. For example: If you feel that you want to release your ex, what you are really wanting to release is the mistrust, and lack of communication. If you say that I want to release procrastination, don’t be surprised if people who are not supportive in your moving forward eventually depart. Every time we decide to release something we create room to receive something different.

Take a really good look at this past year 2013. Ask yourself what worked and what did not work. Look at your circle of friends, family members, employees, and business associates. Ask yourself, who do I feel confident about taking into next year with me. Be honest. Ask yourself why would you like these people to move forward with you. Ask your self why would you like to release them. Write down your insights. Take a really good look at your projects, goals, and plans. Ask yourself what would you like to build on in 2014. Ask yourself what would you like to leave in 2013. Write it down, and be completely honest. IF, there is uncertainty regarding who and what to leave behind and move forward with, don’t worry yourself. Just relax about it, and set the intention to release any and everything with love that no longer supports you in being your best self. Ask the Universe to help you make the distinction. Eventually all that is for you will reveal itself, and all that is not for you will reveal itself as well. Don’t be afraid to let go and embrace new opportunities, and relationships. This releasing, and embracing is what progression is about.

2013 was a very powerful year—a year of purification, and clarification for many. Let us take this pure energy and clarity into 2014 and blaze trails! Subconsciously we may be tempted to remain stuck, but making a conscious decision to release that which no longer serves us with love will assist us in moving forward.

I am wishing you a glorious, prosperous, love-filled 2014 and infinity! Release it with love, and allow yourself to be pulled forward—higher! Nadirah A. Shakir

The Cure For Body Image Blues

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“Our unique physical make-up is a part of the fine art of the world.”~Nadirah A. Shakir~

I’ve been blessed to work with so many beautiful people as a wellness practitioner. Aside from the uniqueness of their spirit, one of the things that makes them beautiful to me are their bodies. Short, tall, long hair, bald, “pancake” butts, and butts and bust that are rotund—it’s all beautiful to me. I’ve been in the presence of vanilla skin, and coco hues, brown eyes, hazel, grey and blue too. These are the things that make us unique. In a matter of physiques, I’ve trained and massaged shredded, ripped, voluptuous, full figured and petite. I still think, that our unique physical make-up is a part of the fine art of the world!

So why are we all trying to be the same? Who and what are we allowing to define what’s beautiful. As a personal trainer, people always come to me with their list of things they want to change about their physical appearance, because I’m not a plastic surgeon I get the list of things that they want to change about their bodies. A busty woman wants to know if I have exercises to help her loose her breast. I never do; but I always tell them that when they loose weight they’re cup size will probably go down a size or two. A man with rounded shoulders wants to know if he can get his shoulders to look like Lebron James. His shoulders will never grow that big naturally. Besides, that’s a matter of bone structure. The ladies want to know if I have exercises to give them a Beyonce’ butt. That’s genetics. Let’s work on the butt you have, and the list goes on and on.

Unfortunately, I’ve met some people who are actually depressed about their physical appearance. I call this body image blues. The following are suggestions to help you embrace your natural body type, and overcome body image blues.

1. Ask yourself are you healthy: Is your body expressing health? Are all of your bodily systems functioning properly? Are you dis-ease free? Are you able to comfortably perform physical fitness activities? If you are healthy then you are blessed. The next time you get in a funk about your physical make-up remember that while some people may have the “perfect” body, not everyone can say they are healthy.

2. Don’t allow social media to dictate how you should look and feel: Remember, the media is always trying to sell something. When one body type goes out of style, another body type will come in. Love the skin you are in regardless of what’s being promoted in the media.

2. Avoid comparing yourself to others: You may be in a family where everyone has a particular body type, and your body type would have you believe that you were adopted. It’s all good! You’re probably just the splitting image of a family member a couple generations back. You’re special!!

3. Study your ancestry, heritage, and family genetics: Of course genetics and DNA play a role in how we show up in this world physically, and it doesn’t just stop at our parents and grandparents it goes waaaaaaaay back. So do your research and accept the physical make-up of your tribe!

4. Avoid drastically changing your diet: Drastic changes in your diet will drastically change the composition of your body, and before you know it, you won’t even be able to identify which body is truly yours. Stick with a well-balanced diet that composes all of the nutrients. Eat in moderation, and the body type that is truly yours will reveal itself.

5. Embrace your body type as fine art, a perfect manifestation of the Heavenly Creator: An artist takes his/her time to perfect every sculpture, every painting, every poem, every photograph, and every fabric. The heavenly creator approached the design of you with the exact same delicacy if not more so. Just as you would take care with a fine piece of art. Take care of your unique physique just the same.

6. Be sensual with yourself or allow someone you share in love with to be sensual with you: Something as simple as applying lotion to your body after a warm bath can help you appreciate your unique physique. Or have someone else do it who respects, loves, and honors your body. Massage therapy is a wonderful way to ground yourself in your sacred body.  Practice sensuality, to make loving your body a reality!

7. Check yourself out in the mirror in the buff: Look at yourself in the mirror from head to toe. Stare into your eyes—check out your thighs—watch your hips dip—and hug yourself with your arms—and tap your feet gently as you view your entire frame in your birth day suit, in a full length mirror. Admire all the things that make you unique, and tell your body how much you love it. It’s our gift. It’s our vehicle for our soul…for a time. Love it while it last.

For more stories about body image issues and self acceptance visit,http://bookstore.iuniverse.com/Products/SKU-000141255/Before-You-Work-Out-Exercise.aspx, and read my memoir. What a journey! Blessings!

I wish you self love and fierce self acceptance! Nadirah A. Shakir

Practicing The Presence for Emotional Wellbeing & Personal Growth

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“Be present, become the present, receive the present.” ~Nadirah A. Shakir~

Practicing the presence is about more than sitting in a silent room, and focusing on our breathing. Practicing the presence is focus and awareness. It’s a way of being—how one travels through life. Although meditation and deep breathing are catalyst for becoming present, cultivating awareness, and centering, true presence requires much more. True presence requires openness which is what deep breathing promotes. Meditation (depending on the type) fosters awareness and facilitates centering and grounding oneself.

Why would anyone want to become present? We practice the presence so that the precious moments in our lives don’t fly pass us as we jolt towards the future; and we practice the presence so our progression forward is not stuck in the past. The present moment is really all that we have to make any substantial changes in our lives. I once heard a cognitive professional say, “If a person is stuck in the past that will eventually make them depressed and stagnant. If a person is fixated on the future that will create anxiety, but if a person can learn to focus their attention on the present moment then they have the potential to create the life that they desire.”

For some of us the present moment—our present experience  may be undesirable. It may be something that is causing us lots of pain on an emotional, mental, or physical level. What do we do then? Do we stay with the pain? Do we stay present? The answer to all three questions is, yes, you stay present. You stay present with the intention to understand, and heal your current condition. Think about it. Would you want to take the way you currently feel with you as you move forward? More than likely you won’t, unfortunately though this is exactly what happens. People try to escape their current unpleasant conditions by acting like they don’t exist, and just “getting on with it.” And while they may jolt ahead a couple miles, guess what shows up in the future? The same pain they tried to escape a couple miles back.

Stay present even if it hurts, but employ the intention to understand the source of the pain so that you can do the healing work which is required for growth. Don’t try to bandage it and get going! Allow it to rise to the surface so that you can see what’s going on, so that you can heal it. What’s covered won’t get enough air to heal thoroughly. Being present with our discomfort doesn’t have to be so uncomfortable if we employ an attitude of gratitude regarding the experience, and relinquish the desire to control how things play out. This is where your openness comes in into play. If you are open to the present experience the Universe will provide all of the people, resources, and situations that you require to truly heal.

When we practice the presence, we become the present, and we receive the present that the Universe wants to gift us. How is this possible? This is possible because when we are present we are both open to Spirit and aligned with the Universe. This openness and alignment puts us in a state of receptivity. When we are receptive we allow others to share with us, and in turn we share with them energetically and otherwise. Practicing the presence puts you on the path of healing, self- discovery, and personal growth.

Be well with yourself. Learn from and release the past, look forward and plan for the future, and remember, the present moment is the true gift. Wishing you all the gifts of today, and all the blessings in every PRESENT moment that is sure to come. Nadirah A. Shakir

Learn To Love Your Period

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Learn To Love Your Period. It is NOT a Disease.

I was getting my eye brows waxed the other day in the nail shop when I over heard a conversation that a mother and daughter was having. “This damn pill ain’t working,” the daughter hissed at her mother. The mother looking empathetically at her daughter begin flipping through her purse in search of a STRONGER pill. “Here take two of these,” the mother said, handing the pills to her daughter. I dropped my head so low I almost messed up my wax job. The daughter swallowed the two pills and settled herself in the chair next to me waiting for the comfort of the pills to kick in as nail tech started to clip away at her cuticles. I looked at her, and she looked back at me. I smiled empathetically, and she opened—“I hate my period!” I smiled again, understanding that most women feel this way. I wanted to say so much to her, but I could tell she was frustrated. I could also tell that she had become accustomed to taking drugs to minimized her menstrual cramps and other symptoms that may be due to her monthly menses. So I held my tongue.

I remember back in high school when I used to get cramps associated with my period. On one particular day I told my physical education instructor that I would not be participating in any physical activities because I was cramping. HE told me that exercise, and foods rich in minerals especially potassium, would off-set menstrual cramps. In other words he was telling me that my cycle was not an excuse to sit out an entire class period. I listened to my instructor and I went into the locker room and got dressed and then got physical. In almost no time my cramps were gone, and I didn’t cramp at all any more that month. After I noticed the difference I began to get more active as a way of life, and must say that even today I do not have menstrual cramps, very little water retention unless my diet is completely off target, and my period is still regular. I DO, however have chocolate cravings, so I will treat myself to some dark chocolate during my cycle, but that’s about it.

All of the hormonal craziness that is believed to be associated with our period is really NOT craziness at all. Essentially this “craziness” is really womens’ intuition, and spiritual and emotional connectedness to herself and her surroundings. When a woman is on her period she is more intuned with herself, nature, and the Holy Spirit. This craziness is not really craziness at all, but is a surge of spiritual/kundalini energy that is emerging from her womb and circulating through AND out of her body, and yes I do experience this. Most women, like my sisters in the nail shop have not been taught that their period is a blessing as opposed to a curse, so they buy into and believe that they are “crazy” at this time, when in fact they are more in tune with them-selves and the world around them. In addition to that, most women have not been taught how to harness that kundalini energy around the time of their cycles so they become scattered and thrown off kilter. It is wise for women to take special care of them selves year round, but especially during their periods. Moderate exercise, prayer, meditation, deep breathing, back, hand, and feet massages are wonderful during this time, and a diet rich in minerals can do well to comfort the spirit of women on their menses, and yes, eating dark chocolate under a beautifully lit moon will do wonders for grounding your energy and calming your mind. So…the next time your period comes on rub your tummy and welcome it, and if you have a significant other have them rub your tummy, and then rub your feet and welcome it too!

Blessings, Nadirah A. Shakir

Grounding Yourself for Optimal Health

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sand in hand

“Grounding Yourself for Optimal Health”

Do you ever feel like your life is going so fast that you just can’t keep up? Sure you have! That’s called life! Often times, when we feel this surge of energy, or this exhilarated flow of life speeding up, things are more than likely going well. The Universe has/is providing for us new opportunities for further growth and success. In some cases there can be a series of stressors that have our head spinning as well. In any event, when life starts to go so fast that you just can’t keep up, go ahead a give yourself permission to slooooow down.

How can you slow down? You can slow down by engaging in an activity that grounds you. A grounding activity is an activity that you do where you become fully present in that moment. It slows the heart rate down. It relaxes the mind, and the muscles of the body also become relax. In other words, you become fully present in the moment. For me, getting out into nature helps me ground myself. The sea has a calming effect on me that relaxes my entire muscular and nervous system. There’s an exercise that I like to do when I visit the sea. I like to consciously connect with the rhythm of the ocean—the waves, and then I like to breathe with the moving water. I can’t began to tell you how wonderful I feel after about five minutes of doing this. I also like to play in the wet sand–pushing my feet into the mud—making mud balls—carving my name into the sand. I find that doing something silly like playing in mud helps me nurture my inner child which is very grounding! One way to quickly become grounded is to forfeit all the seriousness of adulthood and let your child play! For others, a walk under a full moon, or the warm sun may be grounding. Baking a cake or making love with a partner who you share a wonderful connection with can be healing. Praying, deep breathing, a great workout, running, talking to a therapist or a coach, journaling, and list goes on and on and on! You know yourself best, so do what works for you. If you are not accustomed to grounding yourself try my two personal favorite—journaling about your feelings, and taking a solitary trip to the sea. Either of these activities will provide the healing-reflective space for you to remember and conger up new ways to ground yourself.

I wish you peace today and everyday. Nadirah A. Shakir

Overcoming The Green-Eyed Monster

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Overcoming The Green-Eyed Monster

Have you ever felt sick to your stomach when someone has something that you want? Have you ever wished they lost it, or that something bad happens to them so that they loose what they have? Sounds ugly doesn’t it? But the truth is, it happens. People get a bad case of green eyes and all types of negative thoughts and emotions fill their minds regarding the person who has acquired or accomplished what they desire. Why does this happen? Sadly, it happens because people don’t believe that they can accomplish their dreams. They don’t believe that they are worthy of what they want. In more severe cases they don’t believe that they have what it takes. What if we all believed in ourselves? What if we believed that we deserved the desires of our hearts, and what if we understood divine time and divine expression. We are all so different, and even on the surface where similarities may be seen in the spiritual realm there is so much mystery to one soul pattern. We have different skills, talents, body types, aspirations, motives, and dreams. Our uniqueness is what sets us apart. In a world where social media promotes “sameness”, it’s sometimes difficult to discern what it is that one really wants. When certain looks, and lifestyles are promoted as popular our uniqueness is quickly degraded and we find ourselves pursing things that we don’t even want. This creates a monster within—a severely unhappy state in which one is in inner turmoil with one self. How can the monster be healed? The green-eyed monster can be healed when the individual goes with in for clarity, and accepts the truth that the clarity will reveal. Often times when we go with in, we come back out realizing that the things that we have been pursuing for so long aren’t even the things that we desire. They are things that our parents desired for us, that a spouse desired for us and some where along the way we agreed to it. They are things that we submitted to in order to keep friendships, social status, jobs, and money. The green eyed monster will not be able to live with in us when we accept our individuality, and we accept that everything happens in divine time. Staying focused daily on the task at hand and accepting the divine guidance of the holy spirit often puts one at peace with oneself and all that surrounds her; and where there is peace, monsters cannot reside.

You are a unique expression of Al-Mighty God. Find what you are good at. Pursue it. Do it with love, and stay focused on your relationship with yourself and God; and know your time will come so there is no need for “jea-LOUSY.” Thou shalt not covet—10th commandment.

Peace and a multitude of blessings, Nadirah A. Shakir

Using Physical Exercise to Restore Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Balance

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One of my clients laughed at me the other day when I told her that we would only be training the right side of her body during her training session. “What about my left side,” she exclaimed! “I don’t want to be lop-sided!” What my client didn’t know was that she was ALREADY lop-sided—emotionally. During her physical fitness assessment I noticed that she had tremendous strength and balance on the left side of her body, but her right side was much weaker. On her left side she was able to perform more repetitions, and lift much heavier weight. When we performed stabilizing exercises or core exercises her right side often fell first where as her left side was able to hold the position longer. After assessing her, most trainers would credit her imbalance to a general muscle deviation or lack of strength on that side, and all of those assumptions may very well be part of the imbalance. However, as a wellness coach and a master reiki energy therapist I had to delve a bit deeper. After the assessment was over I asked her a couple of rather personal questions. What I discovered was that my client was having issues in her relationship with her male counter-part, and she had also recently lost her grandfather who had been the father figure in her life. Emotionally my client was suffering. Her weakness on her right side was the physical manifestation of her emotional suffering. FYI: We often suffer emotionally long before there are any physical symptoms. More often than not the physical symptoms come so that we can immediately turn our attention with in, since we are accustomed to ignoring our feelings, and “getting on with it.” Metaphysically/spiritually speaking, our right side represents our masculine energy. Sometimes, when we feel pain, discomfort, and weakness in one side or another it can be an indication that our emotional issues are becoming chronic. Once we receive the physical signal we are forced to explore our emotions more thoroughly. When we find the root of our discomfort by sorting through our emotions and mental patterns we can begin to heal ourselves at depth. An in depth approach to healing will insure longer positive results versus trying to bandage or “fix” an external problem. Does it take longer? Most of the time it does. Will it be more uncomfortable? Probably. But, at least you know you have rectified the problem on all three levels—mind—body—and spirit. Furthermore, you are empowered, because you now have clarity on the underlying issues which may be causing external discomfort. As for my client, she’s not lop-sided. She is becoming more aligned. That one session dedicated to her right side was just an opening for deeper healing. Pay attention to your body when it speaks (aches, twitches, sensations), and if you have any knowledge of the metaphysical anatomy use it to find underlying or root causes for discomfort. If you don’t, visit this blog often, as I’ll be posting what I have been blessed to learn.

Getting Physical for Equilibrium

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Many people use exercise as a way to distress, and get or keep themselves in alignment. It’s no wonder that as soon as life takes an unexpected turn and things get off normal track, many people find their way back by revamping a schedule that incorporates some type of physical fitness. “I just feel better after a really good workout,” is the mantra that is often heard after a long run, an intense weight training session, or a grounding yoga class. Why is this so? Why do people just feel so darn good after a workout? There are many reasons why, but perhaps the most fundamental reason why people feel so good after a workout is because they have done what is absolutely natural. They have nurtured themselves on all levels—mind, body, and spirit. They have made the mind body connection by thinking about and then performing the exercise, and they have refreshed the spirit through breath. Although physical exercise may appear to be just physical or external it is not. When entered into consciously exercise/physical activity becomes a powerful avenue for healing and restoring balance. So, the next time you opt to push your workout to the bottom of your list of “things to do” remember that exercise is not only good for the body, it does wonders for clearing and aligning the mind, and rejuvenating the spirit.