Tag: Self Esteem

Embracing the Relationships Around You

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So many single people are obsessed with being in a relationship. It’s as if they don’t meet Mr. or Mrs. Right their entire existence is irrelevant. They can’t eat. They can’t sleep. They can’t even go out to a social event without looking for their soul mate. I understand the basic human need for companionship and relationship. The desire to connect and share our hearts and lives with another soul is an innate trait that most human beings have. What’s unhealthy though is the yearning—the obsession to have someone–anyone, which drives people to make deplorable relationship choices. Also, entering into relationship because of a need—financial or other, will only lead to disaster. No one can learn our lessons for us or do the work for us. We have to do it ourselves.

One of the most loving things single people (all people for that matter) can do for themselves is to obtain a deeper understanding AND acceptance of themselves. You’ll be surprised at how many single people who are desperate to get into a relationship, haven’t the foggiest idea what makes them happy. Furthermore the desperation to be in a relationship leads them to compromise their very own happiness. The relationship will not last and if it does the energy will be toxic. Also, trying to hide behind personas and adhere to roles for the sake of obtaining a relationship will choke at ones life force as well.

One of the things that I do as a happily single individual is embrace the relationships around me. If you are single (or not) and desiring a sacred union you should too. Here’s why. The Universe is always sending someone to share in love with you. It may not be the type of relationship that you are looking for but the energy for giving and receiving is always there. Furthermore allowing yourself to be open to those around you will help you better prepare for “THEE” relationship you are wanting. When you see every relationship as a relationship that can assist you in becoming the type of person you would like to “be with” some day then you are on your way to sharing life with that special someone. In the meantime, just chill, love, and get to know you. Do some of the things that you dreamed of doing, and more importantly pay attention to the people around you. Someone is always trying to love you. Just look.

For further insights on self love, relationship, and inner confidence read pages 27-30, and 141-142 in my memoir Before You Work Out, Exercise http://bookstore.iuniverse.com/Products/SKU-000141255/Before-You-Work-Out-Exercise.aspx.

Wishing you unconditional love and fearless self acceptance, Nadirah A. Shakir

Overcoming The Green-Eyed Monster

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Overcoming The Green-Eyed Monster

Have you ever felt sick to your stomach when someone has something that you want? Have you ever wished they lost it, or that something bad happens to them so that they loose what they have? Sounds ugly doesn’t it? But the truth is, it happens. People get a bad case of green eyes and all types of negative thoughts and emotions fill their minds regarding the person who has acquired or accomplished what they desire. Why does this happen? Sadly, it happens because people don’t believe that they can accomplish their dreams. They don’t believe that they are worthy of what they want. In more severe cases they don’t believe that they have what it takes. What if we all believed in ourselves? What if we believed that we deserved the desires of our hearts, and what if we understood divine time and divine expression. We are all so different, and even on the surface where similarities may be seen in the spiritual realm there is so much mystery to one soul pattern. We have different skills, talents, body types, aspirations, motives, and dreams. Our uniqueness is what sets us apart. In a world where social media promotes “sameness”, it’s sometimes difficult to discern what it is that one really wants. When certain looks, and lifestyles are promoted as popular our uniqueness is quickly degraded and we find ourselves pursing things that we don’t even want. This creates a monster within—a severely unhappy state in which one is in inner turmoil with one self. How can the monster be healed? The green-eyed monster can be healed when the individual goes with in for clarity, and accepts the truth that the clarity will reveal. Often times when we go with in, we come back out realizing that the things that we have been pursuing for so long aren’t even the things that we desire. They are things that our parents desired for us, that a spouse desired for us and some where along the way we agreed to it. They are things that we submitted to in order to keep friendships, social status, jobs, and money. The green eyed monster will not be able to live with in us when we accept our individuality, and we accept that everything happens in divine time. Staying focused daily on the task at hand and accepting the divine guidance of the holy spirit often puts one at peace with oneself and all that surrounds her; and where there is peace, monsters cannot reside.

You are a unique expression of Al-Mighty God. Find what you are good at. Pursue it. Do it with love, and stay focused on your relationship with yourself and God; and know your time will come so there is no need for “jea-LOUSY.” Thou shalt not covet—10th commandment.

Peace and a multitude of blessings, Nadirah A. Shakir